Living Life Freely & Lightly

August 28, 2009

Well….August is almost over and I haven’t written here the whole month. I’m sorry. All is well….it has just been a busy month. At the end of July, we celebrated Luke’s 21st birthday. Then I went to the beach for a week with 3 awesome friends. When I returned, we dived in to planning Elizabeth’s birthday celebration. Now, the fall teaching schedule starts with me serving on two round tables and time has just flown past me without my permission. However, I have had some things on my mind.

While at the beach, I decided to continue my workout routine at the local Curves. That is one of the benefits of that particular gym; when you are a member of one, you’re a member of all. One morning one of the girls vacationing with me mentioned how impressive that was that I would do that. I did thank her for her kind words, but then responded, “You know, that is one of our mentalities that is not good. We tend to think when we are on vacation, we should do whatever we want which usually includes indulging ourselves with food that we wouldn’t normally have.” My previous thought pattern has been similar to the one our society has around holidays too. But what I realize is actually happening in me is a new way of thinking….a whole new lifestyle of eating patterns that continue no matter where you are or what season of the year it is. For me, I really have learned to ask myself why I am wanting “this or that”? Am I really hungry? Is this the best choice for me right now? How much is it costing me? Of course, I mean “how many calories is it costing me”? I have started a new motivation to that concept by putting dollar marks in front of the number of calories a particular food is. For example: those infamous Zaxby’s homemade potato chips…they are $800. Now, would it make any sense for me to actually spend $800 on potato chips? Would I really do that? Of course not! That is absurd! So, why would I spend 800 of my 800 calorie a day allowance on them?? I mean, even if I were going to have 1000-1200 calories a day, would it be a wise expense? Not to mention the other questions that now go through my head – “How much protein is there in the chips?” “How long will they satisfy me before my body will need something else…something better for me”? Once I process all that…and it usually doesn’t even take me longer than about a minute, I realize I don’t really even want them anymore. Most likely I never WANTED them….I just CRAVED them…and use to indulge with no thought whatsoever. Remember?? “I was not mindful of what I ate or what it cost me.” It is amazing to me how my heart and mind has really been changed from the inside out on this issue. I am still sticking to between 800-1000 calories a day, with most days being between 800-870. I work out regularly at Curves and progressing daily on each machine, burning an average of 375 calories a workout. I feel great. I have dropped 2-3 full sizes in my clothes. I walk up and down stairs like I am suppose to with one foot in front of the other. While at the beach, we stayed in a third floor condo and I only used the elevator the first night we got there to haul our luggage up. After that, I used the stairs every time we came or went. For Elizabeth’s birthday, she requested that we rent costumes from the flapper era of the 1920’s to wear to the musical Chicago. Had I not lost my weight and dropped these clothes sizes, I could have never done that with her. The reason I am listing all these things is because I realized something significant: these are all things I could not do freely 3 months ago. When I celebrated my birthday in March, I avoided all stairs like the plaque and gravitated to the elevator or moving stairs. I parked as close to the store as I could possibly get and would drive around the parking lot until a close space opened up. When I would get up from my seat at the theatre at the end of a movie and begin to make my way down the stairs, I never put one foot in front of the other….rather I placed my right foot on the step and then the right foot again and so on. I walked like an older person. I never wanted to go on walks. Now, I am searching the internet for local waterfalls to walk to. I want to rent a bicycle to ride. While I don’t “enjoy” working out at Curves, I do feel better after having spent my time there…and feel like I am missing something in my day if I don’t go. Who is this new Cynthia? Where did the other girl go? I am still me, but my mind and heart has been changed in regard to food, health, exercise and you know what is even way cooler than all that? My hope is renewed. My faith is strengthened. My belief in God who cares about everything that concerns me is firmer than ever. The goal is no longer the goal. The number on the scale is not my focus. Living life freely and lightly is my focus. I feel lighter….and I don’t just mean physically. God is so good. He has done this…and I cannot take the credit or glory.