What If?

What if you made the wrong decision that affected another person’s life? I mean, really affected that person’s life? What if he really wasn’t the one and he was sentenced to 90 years in prison for a crime he didn’t commit? What if you were one of the ones responsible for that wrong verdict? I have been told (and told others), “It is never a good idea to do the whole ‘what if’ thing.” But still…..it is human nature to question and doubt. In the midst of these kinds of overwhelmingly mixed emotions, it is so easy to gravitate toward food as comfort or distraction. I feel like this week has been the biggest test I have experienced since the beginning of my weight loss journey. I would have never thought of myself as one who ate for comfort. But I know it is true. Actually, I think we all do. But this is my story….not everyone else’s right now. So, yesterday after the final moments in court, I drove into a familiar Zaxby’s. And yes, I ordered the homemade potato chips, extra crispy with light seasoning: all 800 calories of them. I ate about one third of them and was disappointed. They were not extra crispy and they left me without comfort. I realized I didn’t even like them. I couldn’t wait to get the remains out of my car. I continued to drive and drive….and wound up at a place I have recently come to enjoy in downtown Asheville. (I know….big surprise….most of my friends and family know that downtown Asheville is one of my least favored spots.) However, as I parked in the garage and made my way up the street through the doorway to “the place to sip, snack and relax”, it became apparent what truly comforted me. I ordered a chicken salad and a Lavendar Pear Martini. And I sipped, snacked and relaxed. It was good for the soul. It wasn’t the potato chips that successfully comforted. Neither was it the chicken salad or the martini. Rather, the space and atmosphere that surrounded and enveloped me gave me that sense of retreat and calm that I was craving in my chaotic mind. Earlier that morning, in another parking garage…outside the courthouse…I opened my Bible to a familiar passage from Isaiah. It read, “Behold my servant, whom I uphold, my chosen, in whom my soul delights; I have put My Spirit upon Him; He will bring forth justice to the nations. He will not cry aloud or lift up His voice, or make it heard in the streets; a bruised reed (poor and needy) He will not break, and a faintly burning wick (representing someone close to losing faith and hope) He will not quench; He will faithfully bring forth justice. He will not grow faint or be discouraged till He has established justice in the earth; and the coastlands wait for His law.” There is no need in my “what if-ing”. He will establish justice. The Prince of Peace will bring forth and establish justice – His way and in His time. I might as well not cave into false guilt, emotion or doubt. I don’t need to “feed” those negative, harmful enemies. They leave me dissatisfied and hungry every time. I can turn, in faith, once again even if it is just a minute amount of faith and He will not quench my small flicker of a flame of hope. I can trust that He will see me through. What if the Servant of the Most High God redeems even a wrong verdict with His sure justice? Just what if?